pretty day.

The weather is nice. I'm studying outside right now. There's actually a few people out walking around. Maybe there's a few studying here and there. The only downer is the distinct disgusting-food-cooking-in-the-cafeteria smell that the breeze is carrying. I wish everything else was as nice as the weather. No, wait - not everything else. Just me and my outlook.

I'm studying for an economics midterm that I'll take on Monday. I really don't think I'm going to do well. AND I can't make myself study much. Nothing makes much sense - I just can't sort it out in my head. The word SOTIREDIJUSTWANTTOGOHIDEUNDERAROCK comes to mind. (In my mind, that's a word, okay?)

I think I'm about ready to give up - on school and just about everything else. Especially school. But of course I'm not going to, so no worries.

I'm liking the breezes.

I'm hungry. I want some popcorn.

I'm sitting by the pool right now. A group of guys just descended upon the pool area and are playing with this pool-basketball-net thing (no wait, they want to play 'pool football' now; they are arguing about who will play what. I'm hearing such words as "I'll be on D" and "I'm the All-Time ______." And there's only 4 downs total, apparently. Oops, there's been 3 already. Oh dear.) and are generating many widespread splashes. I'm sensing that my laptop is in some danger. Perhaps my brain cells as well.

it's too late to apologize

But now I'm back.

This thing needs some hardcore updating.

The end.

August Rush Moments (ARM's)

An August Rush Moment (ARM) occurs when you hear music in your head that is based on sounds (not necessarily musical ones) that are around you.

I've had several of those today.

Sitting at the table, I thought I heard something along the lines of synth strings meandering around one note. I wondered where the music was coming from and what was going on in my brain, because no one around here would be listening to music like that, and everything was 136% quiet around here. It sounded like.... the laundry room?? Yep. The pitch of the annoying drone of the washing machine was the basis for that little number in my head.

Just now: I heard what I thought was piano music, higher up on the keyboard. Except it's 3 AM and I'm the only one awake. Except for the music that is stalking me I guess. It was some squeaky noise the A/C was making.

Yeah, I'm quite the musical genious. I'm going to learn to play the guitar in 1 day and write a cheesy symphony and get props for it at Julliard (where I was accepted on full scholarship for my wonderful genious).

It looks like I'm in tune with the music of the universe. And all that stuff. At 3 AM.

Tomorrow is another day... or is that today?

Thinking it's one day when it's really another - even when you look at the calendar. Even when you know that August 8th is a F-r-i-d-a-y.

I've always thought it was interesting how you can go about your day and have your mind convinced that it's a different day. You know - it's Sunday but you keep thinking it's Friday night. (if only!) Or it's Wednesday and you think it's Friday night. (even worse!)

I guess it makes sense when certain things about your day just 'tell' you that it's actually, say, Saturday. You're at home, doing nothing. Everyone's at home, doing nothing. You're going on really boring errands. Also, the passage of time (whether slow or fast) always takes us by surprise, so naturally our brains are a little confused.

What really freaks me out is when a day just plain feels like a different day. To me, the days of the week all feel different. But I'm certifiably not normal (I hesitate to say 'abnormal,' which brings to mind 'socially deviant' or 'freakishly weird'), so maybe it's just me.

My worst nightmare (ok, definitely not my worst - Orlando Bloom stalking me in a UPS truck is definitely higher on the list) has not happened yet, thankfully. I can see myself thinking during the school year that it's Wednesday when it's actually Tuesday, stumbling into my Wednesday morning classroom, all early and prepared, to find it full of people staring at me (probably like I am 'abnormal'). And the sad part is I've actually had dreams about this, even though I don't really worry about it. Just like I don't worry about Orlando Bloom stalking me in a UPS truck. (really, I promise.)

And, in case you were wondering, I've been pretty sure all day that it's Saturday. But it's not - it's Friday. Which is a good thing - if it were Saturday, I'd be one day closer to going back to school. (Ok, it's not that bad, but when you feel like you've wasted your summer, and you are apprehensive about launching back into 135% stress mode, it's not all happy happy joy joy.) Also, I would have lost Friday, which would be sad. And weird. So it's a relief sometimes when you realize you're wrong about what day it is.

Sometimes it's good to be confused.


(but don't try that at home.)

aspirations to become something more than a half-hearted blogger.

Right now, I'm telling myself that this blog is going to be different.

But something is telling my I should know better. I'll end up posting sporadically and getting too personal and mentioning too many inside jokes between myself and my friends who have blogs.

After all, being the Procrastinator of the Year as well as the Introvert of the Year, my natural tendency is to not post at all, or be too profound/personal in every post, and not take any steps to the great unknown of 'the rest of the blogging world.' Link to a blog whose author I do not personally know (which is just about all blogs)? Comment on a blog whose author I do not know? That would be 100% revolutionary for me.

I also dread The Great Blank Posting Box. You know, you stare at the screen, watch that little black line flash on and off, begin a sentence and then delete it several times, and eventually give up, wondering why you ever started a blog.

So, let's see if I can actually resist the trend in my history of blogging.